February 2012
guccimom:
long sigh followed by another and another forever and ever until the end of my life
scunted:
i ship julia gillard x tony abbot favourite OTP ♥
the sexual tension between the 2 is just like damn hot feisty sex already god damn
my girlfriend keeps doing really smelly farts
but she’s half asleep and really cute so it’s kinda okay
rumour:
an atheist named christian
phatmonica:
little known fact: i did all the singing for the lion king movie
1 tag
meatmodel:
what is so silly about a goose
marththebland:
idea #2: whisper “no homo” into your child’s ear every night while they’re asleep just to be safe
nuggits2:
does 5 minute ab workout and sees if i instantly turned into jillian michaels
Anonymous asked: You should start a blog where you put things in your cleavage
thatsmoderatelyraven:
i sneezed in school today and no one said bless you i must be ugly
1612th:
i wonder if it would be difficult to microwave a horse
selfimm0lationnn:
i just really really like lemonade i want to take a bath in lemonade
me: i'm going to lose weight!
chips: hey
me: how was the roman empire cut in half
friend: idk
me: with a pair of caesars
tuckercraig:
soarin
flyin
there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach
sexwithtyrabanks:
“omg dad the dingo took my turkey!!!”
sexwithtyrabanks:
ya’ll know that ‘the dingo ate my baby’ lady, yeah she had a baby in prison and my cousin was like besties with that kid and she came to our christmas dinner once, my dad was like ‘omg if you make a fucken dingo joke you’re fucken dead’
Omfg
religiousbitch:
it’s sad when you finish pooping and you know there’s nothing left
hotforphysics:
reblog if you’re a middle aged dad who has a crush on Nick Jonas and will never ever unblock the disney channel for your daughter because you want to keep him all to yourself
2 tags
ugh my girlfriend made me sick wat a slut
idliketobuyallyourchocolate:
did it hurt when you fell from heaven because have sex with me
1 tag
my house has a for sale sign out the front now how exciting!!!
gastrogurl:
all i need is sex and sour worms and a pretty face and my night will feel complete